Fathers' Role in Childrearing

My hubby read my post on 'Introduction to a Super Mum' that day and felt that I did not give him enough credit for his contribution to the children's well-being. It's not fair, he protested. I reflected and thought about it and I think that he is right.
I tend to think that I am the most important person in our children's lives because I am a mummy. I am prepared to do the necessary sacrifices because it is expected of a mummy. Being a mummy seems like the most important role that a woman could ever play, and we are prepared to play this role once we have a child.
Is this what maternal instinct is, or is it just about fulfilling societal expectation and norm?
Perhaps it is both. Having carried the child, first as a foetus, for 9 months is a sure way of building a strong connection. We have learnt to protect the helpless little life growing inside us by taking care of what we eat and not eat, do and not do, and for the more superstitious ones, say or not say. This sense of protection did not stop after the life stops growing inside us and becomes an independent being. For most mothers, this sense of protection carries on as we watch the baby grows into a young child, a teenager, an adult and into his old age, for as long as we live. It is an instinctive need to protect and to take care of the child.
It is also about fulfilling societal expectation. There are songs we learnt from childhood that glorify mothers and these are the songs that we also teach our little ones to learn to appreciate us. There is this Chinese song 'Ma Ma Hao' (translated as Mother is Good) that should be familiar in every Chinese household here. It starts by saying that the mother is the only person on earth who is good, and goes on to spell the sadness of those without their mothers by their side. It prompts me to be like that good mother whom my children will adore.
We also celebrate Mothers' Day with great enthusiasm and thoughtfulness compared to Fathers' Day, and most fathers don't seem to mind that. Fathers also tend to travel more for work than mothers do. They seem to find it easier to detach themselves from the children compared to the mothers.
However, the trend may be changing. Perhaps more men are sharing their feelings about their role as a father. More are seeing themselves as having great responsiblity in raising their children. It is a good sign. So when my hubby protested, I was happy. I recalled those moments that he has good laughs with the children, at the children, angry with the children, and played with the children. The truth is, the children also love him. They miss their father, now that he has gone to work in Abu Dhabi and will be away from the family for 4 months. He misses the children too and wishes to be here with us instead.
There has been greater campaigning for fathers to be more involved, by organisations such as Centre for Fathering and Dads For Life. A message I found on a photo frame from Dads For Life which I find very meaningful is 'To be in our children's memories tomorrow, we have to be in their lives today'. More men are becoming more enlightened and have come to enjoy their role in their children's lives. Who gets the most benefit? The children, of course.
So fathers, protest when you disagree with your wife who thinks that you are not doing enough.

Introduction to a 'Super Mum'

I have been thinking of setting up a blog for a long time. I love to write and to share my ideas. Many of my friends have their own blog but I have waited this long to start one. I have been too busy.
I don't really like to be called Super Mum, but I guess I have become one while trying to play and fulfil multiple roles of a mother.
Being a working mum with 2 preschoolers, aged 3 and 5 is difficult without a domestic helper. I handle the chores, prepare breakfast, send them to school, fetch them, cook dinner sometimes, take care of the basic caregiving and I teach them and am involved in their learning.
I almost sound like I am complaining. The truth is, I am not that super. I can't be doing everything by myself. My hubby is usually our chaffeur and outdoor manager. He brings us to parks or other interesting places in the weekends and the kids enjoy his company. He is around during the weekdays but is usually busy with work, even though he works from home now. He can't really multi-task... (one thing at a time). Oh yes, he takes care of the laundry too, but usually finds it a chore to have to wash loads of kids' clothes. My mum helps too, cooking for us sometimes and provides relief childminding when I need to 'get a life' such as going for facial treatments.
Life with children is indeed exciting. If you were to ask me if I wish there is someone else to do the job, I will be proud and happy to say that I prefer to do all these than to outsource to someone else. Children need us, and the truth is, we need them. We need them to feel alive and needed. We are their guide but they are ours too. They guide us to prioritise and simplify our lives.
I know that many mothers out there will agree with me, that being a mother is more than just bearing children. The process of raising them brings about real joy. Those who is willing to go through this process will understand this.