The Primary 1 registration is next week! The day has come for my eldest to enter formal schooling. It is a scary thought.
Why is it a scary thought? Firstly, getting a child into a decent primary school is rather hard. The demand way exceeds the supply. In order to secure a place, many parents turn to volunteering at the school of their choice, and it turns out that the better schools have such a high number of parent volunteer applicants that the school interviews each of them to select the parents based on the service that they can offer. I suspect they select based on their background (educational, social economic status and occupation) in order to ensure higher academic outcome. Competitive and so much social engineering. That's why the good schools get better each year! Then there is balloting based on distance. Balloting outcome is based on luck, isn't it? So for a child to get to a better school, it is either he comes from a good family or he is lucky.
When my eldest was just 2-3 years old, my husband has the foresight of signing up as an alumni member of his former primary school. I thought that was plain 'kiasu-ness' but it turns out that we have to thank him for this 'foresight'. At least, my children is secured a place in a good school, and I don't have to do voluntary work or to depend on luck to get him in. I can imagine the stress and the frustration of other parents.
Secondly, the amount of stress the little child goes through when they enter formal education is horrendous - school work, projects, spelling, tests etc etc. All these require parental involvement and support. Parents spend their after work hours supervising their children in completing their school work. How much time is spent on enjoying the time with the child? Little.
The truth is: knowing that primary school education is so stressful, I, among some parents out there, want to give my children a good headstart, and the stress starts from as young as 4 years old. It sounds ridiculous, but to expect a 7-year-old child to do his work, learn at expected pace is ridiculous too. They are expected to be able to read, write, spell, do math and many more. Some twenty to thirty years ago, when I was attending Primary school, the expectation was so low. Learning was from the basic, and there were no prerequisites. These days, if your child cannot read or write by the time he enters primary school, he is deemed to be slower than his peers. Slow as defined as low intellectual abilities. How unfair! Who would want their child to be labelled as that? This is the system our children will go through.
I have adequately prepared my eldest for school academically. He can read, write, count, add, subtract and multiply. I want him to feel confident of his ability that the school expects of him. So, I think I do not have to worry about his academics, or at least I hope so. I am, however, worried about the social aspects of schooling. Bullying in schools is a common phenomenon. This is something that is not very much emphasised, and there are few strategies put in place to help pupils who may be facing bullying problems. Teachers are also not adequately trained to handle bullying issues. They often dismissed it as something unimportant to resolve and the victims are often thought of as trouble makers instead. The kind of emotional damage by bullying can be lasting and can develop into psychological problems later.
Parents need to be aware and be supportive of their school-going children to find out about the peer interaction that is taking place in the school. If there is a need, parents should approach the school for help. The child's emotional health is paramount. Why do so many children avoid schools? It is usually due to negative experiences in the school, which can sometimes come from peers and other times, from teachers themselves. Scary thought.
I am not so excited about my child going into primary school. Not at all. There are too many things that I worry about. I won't be able to speak with the teachers the way I speak with his childcare teachers now. I won't be able to make suggestions to the teachers on ways that may motivate him in the same way that I do with his childcare teachers. In the childcare centre that he is in, I sensed that the teachers really care. In formal schooling, the focus is entirely different.
Despite these negative thoughts, this is a phase that he has to go through. I shall be there to help him see through these difficult demands made on his little life. Yes, I shall, with God's blessings.
