Moral Courage

Last week, my son shared with me about something that happened at school. He felt angry when his teacher scolded and punished a classmate whom he felt was a victim. This boy is a rather quiet boy and tends to be taken advantage of by others. Teacher also tends to think that this boy is slow. Another boy, a notorious one, took this boy's wallet and threw it upwards, resulting in the wallet got stuck up somewhere. When the teacher found out, she punished both boys. My son felt that the first boy was a victim and ought not be punished for this. Later on, when the teacher asked if the class agrees that this first boy is always inattentive in class, my son was one of the few who did not put up his hand. He felt sorry for the boy. I felt sorry for this boy too. I suggested to him that he spends his recess with this boy someday so that the boy has someone to eat with at recess. And he did. He went to sit with the boy for the next few days that followed. I felt that he had moral courage, and told him so. I am also proud of him for showing empathy for the boy who tends to be ostracized. Its been half a year since he joined the school, and he does not have many friends. He does not have a clique because he tends to disagree with the way others do things, such as when they play fighting. He would rather eat alone than to do things that he does not believe in. In a way, it is good. He could tell what is right. However, he may end up not having any friends if he were to set his standard so high. I told him to accept that no one is perfect and he can be friendly with everyone even if he does not agree with them. It is a tough call for me. On one hand, I do not want him to join friends just because he wants to belong to some group. On the other, I am worried that he will be a loner. He cannot find someone who is similar to him. I feel sad for him even though he did not seem too bothered at this age, afterall the recess is too short for him to feel bored. Today, he told me that a girl in his class instigated the whole class to take an extra 10mins because their teacher let them go for recess 10mins late. Luckily for him, a group of boys decided not to follow the girl's suggestion and went back to class on time. My son joined them to return to class. The other classmates, a big group of them decided to follow the girl's suggestion and were all punished by their teacher. I am disturbed to hear that a girl so young could fight against her teacher by instigating others to follow her. What if my son is the only one who did not agree with the class? Then he would be ostracized and labelled for 'life' as a betrayer. It's so hard being a child these days. Some of these decisions are hard, and I don't assume that children this age has to make such hard decisions until I experience it myself.