Our Overseas Trip

This June holiday is a special one. We spent the first week holidaying in Osaka, Japan. We have waited so long for an overseas trip and this is our first one as a family after so many years (not counting travelling to Malaysia). The trip was not a very much anticipated one because it was a last-minute decision to travel to Japan and I have also always envisioned a holiday trip with the children as one to either Australia or New Zealand. It turns out to be an enjoyable and fruitful trip. It is an eye-opener for the children, as they watch and observe how people from another culture live. We were left with a deep and positive impression of the Japanese's living habits. They have impressed us as organised, polite and purposeful people.
The train system in Japan is excellent. Their trains ran smoothly, and even if there were delays, announcements were clearly indicated on the sign boards, with the length of delay. At the train stations, people lined up patiently and orderly. Japanese do not have a no-eating rule in their trains but their trains are clean. They dispose their litter in respective bins - recycling is a culture in Japan. Not only that, we are impressed by their responsibility to clear up their utensils after their meals, cleaning up after their own mess! They are not messy to start with. One thing that I am most impressed with is how different people take up different roles in the society. There is no need for liberal imports of foreign labourers. From cleaning of the streets, washing of the toilets, construction, factory operations, administrative work and service industries, Japanese are the ones who do the job. It is amazing that they do not give excuses such as labour shortage or 'no one wants to do the work' in order to bring in foreign talents or labourers. Female crew manned the boats that we rode in and old people swept the streets.
Japanese demonstrate child-like innocence, in the way they showed joy and excitement at Universal Studios Osaka. Cute decorations or stuffed toys are greeted with 'kawaii' and a great smile. I love observing the Japanese, who often demonstrate their child-like innocence so spontaneously.
Japan used to be a leader in technology and innovation, but it has been outshone by the Americans. However, a visit to the country still proves to be an eye-opener for us. Visiting the toilets is a learning journey in itself. It takes me a while to figure out how to use the flush and the bidet. Even the toilet roll holder has some gadget that neatly replaces the roll after the first one is used up.
Not knowing the language proves to be a disadvantage. I believe if I have understood the language, I would have appreciated their culture even more. There are so many things that we can learn from the Japanese.
The boys thoroughly enjoyed themselves despite the long walks each day. The trips to the zoos, Nara deer park, aquarium will be something that they will remember for a long time. They spoke about returning to Japan soon. Even my husband, who is often critical, is full of praises for Japan and desires to return.
Hubby and I went to Japan in 2001 but this trip with the children seemed more meaningful than the first. The excitement over feeding wild deer is now twice as much as we had as a couple. We have created memories as a family.

Big Minds Small Minds

Mothers' Day came and went. It was my 8th Mothers' Day. I am grateful that I am continuing to enjoy motherhood. I make new discoveries about the children every day. Last week, as I was putting the children to bed, the eldest one commented that he does not want to have children of his own when he grows up. He said he would rather build a robot. I was not only puzzled, I was also angry. I thought he probably read too many fiction books and spent too much time playing with his toy transformers. My anger turned into curiosity when he said that he wanted to save the Earth. He then went on to say that human beings have done too much destruction to the environment, and he is not keen to bring another human being into the world. Makes sense... But I was also eager to change his mindset. Haven't we been urged to help with the continuation of mankind by having more children? Now this 8-year-old boy ‘has decided’ that he doesn't want to have any children. I went on to tell him in a stern tone about how he can save the environment in the future by actively educating people on the needs to do so. I said that the world needs someone like him, and he can teach his children to help pass on the message. I spoke about taking the middle path and not taking on extreme views, which could be dangerous at times... It went on to september-11 incident and so on... blah blah blah... My tone was probably so stern that he was on the verge of tears... I saw his sad face, and I changed my tone. This time I told him something from my heart, with guilty feelings, that he has a big mind, so big that it can fit the entire universe. His mind is on helping to save the Earth, and here I was, labelling him as an extremist. I told him that in comparison with his, mummy has a small mind. So small that I only could see things which are practical and present. I was reminded how he has been spending time after class each day, with a few classmates to clean the classroom voluntarily. I told him that he has a big mind, in desiring to serve others without asking for recognition (teachers are not aware of these little ones’ effort) while his mother has a small mind, sometimes getting impatient with him for taking a long time to leave the class, even though I know what he is doing is applaudable. He laughed at my self-deprecation, and I felt that it was much more impactful at addressing his premature decision than the previous lecture. The night ended well. He was cheerful and did not harbour bad feelings about himself when he went to sleep. Reflecting on it after that, I concluded that his mind is bigger than mine. He reads widely, and sometimes when he reads, he becomes so absorbed that he would not do his practice papers. The truth is that, when he reads, he gains wider knowledge about the world than from doing practice papers. It reminds me that even though we are parents, we are not always right. Sometimes, a child has better ideas than us. What the society tells us also may not always be right, and as parents, we need to be aware of our child’s needs and strengths. Who can force a child to read if he is not keen? If my child can learn about the world from reading, shouldn’t I encourage it? I am glad I changed my words and tone in time, to help him understand that there is nothing wrong with him or his thoughts.

Children are a Joy

My cousin recently quit her job to become a stay-at-home mum. There were several push and pull factors for her, but one of the main reasons is to support her eldest son in primary school. It was a decision that took a long time for her to make. Several months into this SAHM role, she commented that her children are a joy! Besides taking on housewifery work including washing and cooking for the family, marketing, and sending and fetching her two kids to and from school,she also coaches her children in their school work, especially the elder one. Indeed, the eldest's results improve greatly. Not only that, the children grow closer to her than before. However, what impresses me most is her commitment towards the children, in the form of taking concern of their psychological well-being. With more time at home, she engages them in deeper conversations, and from there, learns about their progress in school and listens to their feelings and thoughts. She even talks to the school teachers and get them to assist her child in adjusting to changes in school. In other words, she no longer just frets over her worries, she now has the time to do something about it. While concerns of our children's well-being is our priority, it is not to be interpreted as a SAHM's idiosyncrasy or obsession to hover over our children because we have so much time to dispose off. Such keen observations of our children's needs come from our ability to pay greater attention simply because we are there. As a working mother, I could only get a glimpse of what my children were like, from others' account. Now, I get to experience them. Staying at home is not about looking for problems with our children and fixing these problems. It is also about enjoying them. My cousin has made observations of little habits of her children, and what she discovers amuses her. I can see that she appreciates them much more now. I am really happy for her.
As a SAHM, we really learn to live simply, and to enjoy simple things in life. Such simple joy cannot be replaced by that of an aquisition of a big car, a big house, or an expensive Louis Vuitton bag....

Start of a New Year

2013 has arrived. 2012 ended well - we had a great December holiday break even though we did not travel. December went by quickly because we were having so much fun. We went to places such as Snow City, Birds' Park, Botanic Garden but doing mundane things at home is quite fun too. What I have enjoyed most is picnicking at Botanic Garden. I enjoyed sitting by the lake, feeding fish, watching birds and sketching. This year has started well. The eldest has a very good form teacher. She is fair and firm, and has gained the respect of the children. She organizes them in teams and all activities are done with the same team members. She rewards them with points when they behave well. She gives most of them a leadership position and does not show favoritism to her students. My son enjoys going to school much more now and I feel a great sense of joy for him. At the start, my younger boy had a stern teacher who did not seem to care much for the children. Many parents have told me that the teacher is very good but my son's experience was far from good. Although she does not scold my son, she did not smile and appeared to be impatient and grouchy. I gave some serious thought, consulted a few people, and then asked for a transfer for him to another class. He was transferred to another class with a more cheerful and pleasant teacher. While some parents may not think that it is necessary to change their child's class for such reason, I feel that for a young child who has to go to school everyday, having a happier and patient teacher can make a lot of difference for his well-being. School is good for them this year and I am happier too. I have made the necessary moves to tell a teacher off for passing curt remarks to my eldest, request to school for change of class for my youngest and compliment a teacher for doing a great job of motivating my eldest's class. I think that as a parent, my interaction with the school and teachers is important in making things better for my children, and perhaps other children!!