Big Minds Small Minds

Mothers' Day came and went. It was my 8th Mothers' Day. I am grateful that I am continuing to enjoy motherhood. I make new discoveries about the children every day. Last week, as I was putting the children to bed, the eldest one commented that he does not want to have children of his own when he grows up. He said he would rather build a robot. I was not only puzzled, I was also angry. I thought he probably read too many fiction books and spent too much time playing with his toy transformers. My anger turned into curiosity when he said that he wanted to save the Earth. He then went on to say that human beings have done too much destruction to the environment, and he is not keen to bring another human being into the world. Makes sense... But I was also eager to change his mindset. Haven't we been urged to help with the continuation of mankind by having more children? Now this 8-year-old boy ‘has decided’ that he doesn't want to have any children. I went on to tell him in a stern tone about how he can save the environment in the future by actively educating people on the needs to do so. I said that the world needs someone like him, and he can teach his children to help pass on the message. I spoke about taking the middle path and not taking on extreme views, which could be dangerous at times... It went on to september-11 incident and so on... blah blah blah... My tone was probably so stern that he was on the verge of tears... I saw his sad face, and I changed my tone. This time I told him something from my heart, with guilty feelings, that he has a big mind, so big that it can fit the entire universe. His mind is on helping to save the Earth, and here I was, labelling him as an extremist. I told him that in comparison with his, mummy has a small mind. So small that I only could see things which are practical and present. I was reminded how he has been spending time after class each day, with a few classmates to clean the classroom voluntarily. I told him that he has a big mind, in desiring to serve others without asking for recognition (teachers are not aware of these little ones’ effort) while his mother has a small mind, sometimes getting impatient with him for taking a long time to leave the class, even though I know what he is doing is applaudable. He laughed at my self-deprecation, and I felt that it was much more impactful at addressing his premature decision than the previous lecture. The night ended well. He was cheerful and did not harbour bad feelings about himself when he went to sleep. Reflecting on it after that, I concluded that his mind is bigger than mine. He reads widely, and sometimes when he reads, he becomes so absorbed that he would not do his practice papers. The truth is that, when he reads, he gains wider knowledge about the world than from doing practice papers. It reminds me that even though we are parents, we are not always right. Sometimes, a child has better ideas than us. What the society tells us also may not always be right, and as parents, we need to be aware of our child’s needs and strengths. Who can force a child to read if he is not keen? If my child can learn about the world from reading, shouldn’t I encourage it? I am glad I changed my words and tone in time, to help him understand that there is nothing wrong with him or his thoughts.