I have been absent from the blog for so long without realising it. It's been 9 months.
For the last two years, I was actually working on a research project in pursuit for a postgraduate degree, that included attending evening classes. It was not easy juggling studies and family, but I have managed to complete assignments and research requirements while taking care and coaching the children, with the help of my mother and husband. It had been stressful but at the same time, it gave me a sense of fulfilment. After all, both my boys were in the afternoon session, and that gave me a couple hours each day to work on my studies. I have often been grateful for this part-time study. I wondered if I will be bored or feeling a sense of meaninglessness without something to work on.
Unfortunately things did not turn out the way that I have wanted. After slogging for 2 years, I decided to give it up. I felt that there is little guidance from my supervisor and I began to feel more and more alone in the journey. I could not imagine myself carrying on with the project for another 2-3 years. The decision to give up was not difficult to make. After all, things seem to be tough for the next 2 years. The little one has entered primary school this year. He is in the afternoon session while his elder brother is in the morning session. With the cooking, cleaning and supervising of the children's work, I did not have time anymore to focus on writing and reading. While it may seem like a pity to give it up after 2 years of hard work, I see it as something inevitable. With the late nights and stress, it was also taking a toil on my health.
I am a happy person without the degree, and now, I am truly a full-time mummy. I spend the mornings with the younger boy, sometimes taking him out for walks; and the afternoons with the elder one, coaching him in his work and once a week, take him out for a walk. Time with the boys is now spent without guilt, and without a fear of not fulfilling my obligation as a student.
