I have been officially a SAHM since beginning of this year. I have taken a year off work to stay at home so as to better take care of the needs of the children. It has been with the blessings of my employer and my husband.
What is it like to be a SAHM? At first, I thought I will have great difficulty adapting and adjusting. Afterall, I have not really stayed at home to take care of the children full time except during the maternity leaves. In fact, I almost called it quits during the second week. The eldest fell ill and the younger one was uncooperative. In a fit of anger and frustration one day, I told my husband that we need to put the younger one back to child care centre and I can perhaps do some afternoon work when the eldest is in school. The younger one was taken out of childcare centre this year because I know that I will not be receiving the full subsidy with my new employment status. He is now attending a 3-hour kindergarten in the afternoon, which leaves me just a 3-hour window each day to be on my own. I do crave for that time to be alone sometimes, to relax a little and do some reading. Unfortunately, the afternoons have been spent running errands and doing other chores.
In order to be near to the eldest's school, we have also moved during this period. It was hectic overseeing the renovation, packing and unpacking. That added to my stress!!
The good news is : I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. After 4 weeks, we are much more settled down. The younger one likes his school, partly because it is short hours, and I find a little more time for myself after the relocation and unpacking. We also settled into some form of routine. Thank goodness.
Being a SAHM has many challenges. One of the most obvious ones is the reduction of family income. We have to be more prudent with our spending. We have cut down quite a bit of the children's enrichment classes. Another challenge is the lack of mental stimulation. I am not worried about this because I know how to engage myself in mentally challenging tasks.
What are the plus points? I must say that the children are happier. I cannot imagine the eldest one taking school bus from my mum's house or a student care centre; being one of the first to arrive in school and one of the latest to get home. The children and I have definitely grown closer, and this is the greatest gain for me.
I enjoy preparing them for school, including light cooking, preparing a packed snack for the elder one to bring to school, bringing them for morning walk and sending them to and from school. I find that the mornings that I have with them can be spent purposefully, especially for the elder one who has homework on a daily basis, despite being only in primary 1. He told me how his teachers scolded his classmates badly when they did not complete their homework. How stressful it is for those children who have not been supervised or coached by their parents at home to complete their work.
I have no regrets giving up work for the children. The funny thing is that when I decided to take a break from work, many opportunities opened up for me at work. But I know that I am moving on to another phase of my life and I do not find the giving up painful at all.
Unfortunately, we live in a country that stresses so much on pursuits (academic, career, monetary, power and status). These pursuits blinded us from seeing the value of having more time for our children.
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